Cant tell what is causing me to feel the way I feel.
Feel a deep black hole in the middle of my heart/tummy. Just huge sorrow/grief. Not sure why or what is causing it. Its like my entire being is caving in.
Feel like no one can help me.
Wonder why God has not intervene. What is He wanting to show me? What does He want me to know?
Question my existence again.
what is the purpose of my life?
why do i feel so sorrowful not having someone?
when i hear the word rejection, it draws a deep pain in my tummy area. why? have i been so rejected that much pain and hurt had been built up?
toulia is but another guy. why is he still causing me so much grief? he's moved on and gotten himself attached. why am i still hurting from it all? what makes this relationship so different that i still keep feeling the pain?
do i belong here in australia? i love it here, but the people here doesnt seem to want me here. or at least the devil doesnt seem to want me here. i seem to face more rejection here than i ever did back home. back home, at least i had friends to run to. family to care for. i have nothing and no one here.
my life seems to be a lie. i dont know what i am doing here. i feel so useless and worthless.
dislike feeling like i'm suffering, like i'm a loser. see my parents struggling and there's nothing i can do or help. feel like shit.
God says He is in charge. My family has not done anything wrong, yet He has allowed such suffering to befall on us. What fairness is there? I really cant get a hang of it. I dont know how to respond. I dont know how to react. I dont know what to do.
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