23 March 2011 - all had been well. all will be well

I must be going through tests.

First I see him at Color. A place where he would be least expected to turn up at.

then whilst searching for rachel's email, i find 2 of his emails. they were so sweet. so kind.
and that was just in sept and nov.

how did things change so drastically? april he was still singing praises of me.
its just a matter of 2 - 3 weeks.

and now he's going out with someone he thought the total opposite of.

when i said i need more grace, he said it was either i had it or i didnt. and i had it. and now he's just ..... gone.

i'm trying so hard to move on, to get over this. but i am constantly reminded of him.

this life really feels so empty. so painful.

dont want anymore deals.
dont wana stay here anymore.
just wana go home.