7 March 2011 - Help

For some reason, I am really angry today. I am feeling miserable. And I hate it!
I want to be free. I want to be happy. I want to live in the PEACE that Christ had left for me!

So what's the problem?

I feel like a looser.
I feel useless.
I feel unwanted.
I feel hopeless!
I feel betrayed!


And I've been down this path before!
its stupid!
the gal was the one who recognised that he was not good enough for me, yet she's now gone after him!
and me recognising that he had issues and was unable to give me what i deserved, she's actually picking up after me!
coveteousness is a sin!

and she's taking what i "didnt want".

And of cos the devil is going to come along and tell me that i'm the looser. cos i am the one who is not attached. but with all the issues that he has which he refuses to deal with, that's not good for me!
yes i love him, problems and all. but that does not mean that i should settle for less! he needs to be willing to work out his issues!
and the devil is very clever to let me know how i have been unvalued just cos he has chosen to date someone else. well, he still has not looked at his issues! so if someone is willing to settle for less, then so be it.

i am not!
not cos i have high standards and all, but i really do deserve more!
i want stability!
i want to be loved!
i want a normal family, not a dysfunctional one like the one he has. i already have one. i dont need 2 or worse - 3!

i want a stable guy. with good relations with his parents and siblings. not anger and hatred or bitterness. and be able to see that when he is annoyed and irritated, there is an issue there and it is not his parents or siblings but him.

presumptuous attitude!

geesh... wasted half the day cos of the devil. bugger...

at least i have the rest of the day to enjoy!