Monday, February 14, 2011

15 Feb 2011 - Things never used to be so difficult

What has happened?

since when did things become so difficult? They seemed easier in my early days. A broken heart never seemed to take so long to mend.

I feel like a failure. Its been so long yet I cant seem to get over him. He's just one simple guy. Why is it taking so long?! How can the pain last so long?!

I just cant function properly. And that makes things worse. Adds to the feeling of me being a failure.

And I am sick and tired of talking about it to someone. Yet I cant keep it within me. It is driving me insane.

I am so tempted to get in touch with him, but that would just be suicide.

I am no longer rationale. I have lost all senses.

I cant believe that this is the life that God has for me. I refuse to, yet I am facing it and that is a fact.

And I feel so weak! So useless! So lost!

Someone help me!
Someone save me!

I cant cry out "If there is a God!" cos I KNOW there IS a God! He is my Abba Father, but He has not done anything yet!
I dont know how long more I have to wait. I dont know how much more I can endure.

I am going insane!

I gota force myself to be in company of people, otherwise I will go insane!

I hate this feeling. This is not how life was created to be! :(

What happened?!
God!
Help me!
:(

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