Everyday it is a struggle.
Struggle to NOT give in to temptation and do what my flesh so wants to do.
Just spent almost an hour or more today, writing down the letter that I THINK Toulia should have so tat he can LEARN from his mistakes!
That's pure manipulation. Trying to point his faults out to him while asking him to be "understanding". How low can I get. Nonetheless, the letter is written. No way will I post it. Thank God for the sanity.
The way he is right now, he is not going to accept anything from me, good intentions of not. If anyone is to do anything in his life, it would have to be God. I cannot.
I am already nothing without God. And if God didnt bless this letter, then I cannot send it.
thank you Holy Spirit for your help.
I guess it was an opportunity to clear my head, my frustrations, my unspoken grieves that I never got to air. Will he ever get this letter? i dont know. I just dont want to do what God did not ask me to do anymore. Thank God that He caught me in time. sigh.
What a waste of time!
Darn!
No comments:
Post a Comment