17 Feb 2011 - how many times must i write?

thought i just acknowledged my feelings. but somehow, there's still something sitting on my chest. i dont know what it is.

really wish it would go away!

dont like the heaviness.

i dread writing the letters to him.
dont like the responses i have been getting so far.

dont wish to continue being an idiot.

come on... honestly... there are better men out there!

what's so good about him?!


not like he's tall dark and handsome.
he's fair!
not very tall
and not very handsome!

i loved him cos he first loved me.

but he has chosen to walk away!
and blamed me!
i dont care what he says to his future girlfriends and all.
he walked away from this all!

i was but throwing a tantrum.
i shouldnt have been so severely punished
if he really loved me, he would not have walked away just like that. no attempt to work things out. nothing.
everything is his way or the highway.
everything is done his style.

yet we talked about it in the beginning... we would talk about everything. we would work at working things out.

but whenever there was a crunch. i would be the one working it out. I would pursue it.
where is my man?!
he just walks away - defeated. cos of something i said!

seriously... is this the kind of man you want?
no.

then stop crying over him.
he is not worth it.

it is his loss not yours.
there's so much more in you to give. but he doesnt know how to appreciate you. he could not see your beauty. he could not see your value.


forgive him.