My inability to accept the choices that Toulia had made has caused me pain and hurt.
And I realised that although I have declared that I give my all unto Jesus and that Jesus is the Lord over my life, I have no relinquish that control over to Him yet. That is why I am struggling.
Cos if I have, and I KNOW that He loves me and only has the best plans for me, then I wont be struggling. I wont feel like the will to live is slipping away!
He is my Provider! If my life is in His hands and God hears every pray that He prays and He is on my side and He is my Best Friend, then everything that He prays on my behalf will be answered!
I dont know what God's plans for me are yet. But I know that in time, He will show me. For now, Jesus is praying for me. My trust is in Him! So I dont have to think or worry about anything.
He takes my pain away! He gives me peace! He fulfills the deepest desires that God has placed in my heart.
Thank You Jesus!
Note: Its odd that a shift from leaning in and relying on Jesus changes so much. I dont know why and how, but perhaps cos Jesus physically came to die for me, so I feel a stronger connection and the ability to trust Him than to trust God. And perhaps cos I have something from my past that is in the way of me trusting God, but not Jesus. My friends have always stood by me. And if Jesus is my Best Friend, that means He will always stand by me. Maybe that's why it is easier.
I dont know. But this release is a time for celebration!
Or perhaps Daddy God just wants me to eat :P
Cos I did say i will only break fast when I have some answers. When I have some peace and the pain lifted from my soul!
Regardless, Praise God!
Thank You Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment